The Rollercoaster Effect

Today was a rollercoaster of a day. I started with a refreshing 8 and a half hours of sleep. With this sleep also came the knowledge that I hadn't finished the Black Boy reading. I was just too tired last night to finish so indtead I got the correct amount of sleep. So I went to 1st period and did some reading while we watched a movie. 2nd period came and I got to do the class problem. That was fun. The we got our tests back and I din't do too hot. This made me sad because I had taken notes and thought I knew what I was talking about. Some of the questions were dumb mistakes like I had changed my answer from te correct one to the wrong one. Others were ones he hadn't taught us so we didn't knwo and some got it right purely by guessing. Anyway, then we get part 2 of this test and I get 100%. Before you jump for joy, I'll tell you it was only worth 9 points and it didn't move my grade up any. So lunch comes and I do Amber's haor and we have a nice talk with Sil. Then 3rd rolls around and I suddenly become ill. I felt weak and dizzy and cold and a little short of breath.

While listening to Neville's talk on Stalin, I have a vision of the play and I was looking on this vision as an observer, not myself. I see me on stage with a few people and suddenly I faint. The cast gathers around me and says things like, "Elsa, are you alright?" Finally when that doesn't revive me, they break character and call Sil. While still in this vision, I think to myself that I would never allow myself to faint on stage. So the scene rewinds and instead of fainting on teh spot, I say, "excuse me" and run off stage. I grab Nathan, who was not on stage, anmd tell him to tell Sil that I can't perform because I'm going to faint. As he's running to tell Sil this, I faint, but as the observer I see him running around the stage to the light booth. Then I came out of this trance and hoped that it wasn't a sign of tonight's performance.

After a while, Jake started playing with my calculator and pencil bag. It was really annoying and I snapped at him. I felt really bad afterwards, but I was just in a bad mood. 4th finally comes and I do Emma's hair. Then HL 2 people go and watch Othello. I felt fine then. 5th period comes and the sickness comes again. Alison told me to eat something, only no one has any food. Well, we have a test tomorrow and I had the choice of either studying for the test or doing the homework that's due Monday. Well, I chose do teh homework because then I wouldn't have to do it later. This was a bad choice because it took me 30 minuntes to do 3 problems bacause I re-did 2 problems at least 4 times because I kept doing stupid mistakes or didn't understand how the book got a certain answer. i usually got most of the answer correct, just a little part of it had gone awry. Well, this made me really frusterated and I started to cry.

It was time to go to the auditions and I really didn't want to do them. I didn't want to be at school anymore. I wanted Sil to jsut say, "Here is your part. Don't bother singing for me". I would have loved that. Anyway, Emma, Charlotte, and I were lucky enough to be able to sit in Sil's office while auditions were going on. I went fairly early and thought at fisrt that Christa and I were going to sing together and then we'd sing separately. But I ended up singing first, which threw me off, so I didn't do my best by far. But lucky for me Sil knows how I sing so she can judge me on other choir things too. Once the audition was over, I went to do homework. I read Black Boy and finally got done with the reading from the night before. However, on this path to being done, I encountered many obsticles. Mainly, it was talking with Emma and/or Charlotte, depending on who was in the room at the time. Another obsticle was the people in the choir room. They were playing the same songs over and over again and the songs weren't the audition songs. It got really annoying. I coulnd't handle it. I told Emma that I should just open the door and scream and then shut it and see what happens. She agreed. In about 30 seconds, I had my chance. I stood up, opened the door, screamed in outrage, and slammed the door. I looked at Emma and we started laughing histerically because neither of us had thougt I would actually do it. Soon after, banging commenced on the door to see what happened.

On a better note, the play went fairly decently. Tere wer a few minor screw ups. But over all not too bad. And no, I didn't faint.

Well, I am caught up on my Black Boy reading. Now I just need to transfer my passages and such to paper. Oh joy. And I have a math test tomorrow that I haven't studied for yet. That'll be fun.

I think if I get a few college apps out of the way, I'd feel better. Actually, if I had the 2 essays from last year perfected, the research commission from last year perfected, 3 play analysis's done, SAT's done for good, and my Extended Essay done (not necessarily perfected), I'd feel a lot better. But alas, I don't have any of those things completed the way I'd like. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!