All State Weekend and First Dress Rehearsal

This past weekend Christa and I went to All State Choir. It was fun. It was long and sometimes boring, but over all I liked All State better than All Northwest, even though All Northwest was more selective in their pickings. I roomed with Christa, my friend Marika from Aloha, and a girl named Mary. It was good times in room 601. We actually got to sleep before midnight every night...surprising I know......and I was usually the first to fall asleep too. Sleep was a good thing. I slept a lot. It's amazing how much sleep one can get when he or she does not have a computer. Speaking of sleep and computers...my parents are stepping in to my internet usage and putting a guard ont eh internet. It will no longer function past midnight. So if I want to get any work done or talk to anyone, it has to be before midnight. Slight bummer, especially when I have a lot of internet homework...but oh well. I guess this'll help me get more sleep....well that's the theory anyway. Well back to All State....the night we got there, we were forced to go to an "All State social Hour". However, there was no socializing...it was a concert. I ended up falling asleep in the middle of it. The next day I fell asleep right before rehearsal and woke up right before we started. That night, I skipped going to another concert and did homework and went to sleep at like 10:30. Then I woke up for breakfast at 6:45 and after eating breakfast went back to sleep until 9:30. Sleep was very kind to me this past weekend. The music was fun. I loved the director. He was really good. I loved the place we sang in. I loved the food, even though we had to walk like 5 years to get it. Overall, I liked All State a lot.

Today was our first dress rehearsal. It was interesting. Almost everyone had costumes. The set wasn't done, but that's ok. We still have.......3 days....ahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!! I know it'll all pull together nicely. Actually, today wasn't too bad. Tomorrow will be interesting with dress rehearsal being right after school. I was able to make my quick change. It was really nice.

Well, seeing as how I'm on a time restraint, I am going to wrap it up.

Good night
Sleep tight
And pleasent dreams to you
Here's a wish
And a prayer
That every dream comes true
And now til we meet again
Adios
Au revoir
Auf Wiedersehen
Goodnight!

The Internet is Back!

January 23
Sorry folks….my internet went down for a bit. I don’t really know why. But of course, who does?

I was going to have a ranting and venting section here about DT, but instead I am not going to post it for the simple fact that I am now over it. The moment has passed. I ranted and vented to my mom and that made me feel better.

My knees hurt. I hate that. It hurts to walk up and down my stairs; it hurts to sit certain ways; it hurts to do pretty much anything. For this reason (and homework), I did not go to ballet class tonight. I feel bad because I haven’t been in a while, but I needed to get homework done so I wouldn’t be up all night and my knees would have hurt throughout the entire class anyway so what was the point of putting myself through more pain? They had better get better tomorrow, or else the play will be miserable.

I am starting to agree with Ryan and Ermine when they told me that 2006 was a bad year. Why? Well, it seems that not a lot of exciting things have happened to me this year. It could just be because today was not such a good day….but looking back at my senior year so far, not a lot of exciting things have happened…at least not as many as last year. I would have been totally content with graduating last year. Last year was a good year….Encore (as weird as that sounds), All-Northwest, Into the Woods, Dance Team in general, Dance Team at State, becoming closer to friends, meeting new people, State Solo 3rd place, Kindergarten, Mrs. Cea….the list goes on. This year: All-State Choir, All-State Dance Team, Musical Comedy Murders, theater class, learning to fix/hang/plug in/fly lights, meeting new people, becoming closer to friends, The Crucible (coming soon!)…..I think the list ends about there. I just don’t enjoy things like I did last year. Encore is different, I don’t really like the musical, DT has made me irritated more than it ever has (is that because I am a captain and now have more responsibilities?), I hate how choir things always interfere with dance things (like I almost couldn’t go to a game b/c of a choir thing she didn’t tell us about until like 2 days before, I haven’t been to a full week of classes in forever…probably since the summer), I hate how I feel more responsible for the plays this year and feel more stressed out about them, I hate how the only reason I like going to school is to go to drama class to hang out with the drama geeks, I hate how unmotivated I have become….I no longer want to learn for learning’s sake. I just want to get the homework done so I can do other things. I hate how I’m always so tired and cranky. I hate having choir practice during lunches and not telling her that most of us hate it b/c I fear she’ll hate me if only I tell her….though why should I fear her? I only have about half a year left with her….that’s a lie since I’m not in Encore 3rd tri due to scheduling conflicts. So I’m pretty much done with her….but still I feel afraid to tell her that we don’t want lunchtime rehearsals…..but I don’t think the other girls will ever get together to tell her with me. Some will I know, but it should be all of us or none of us. If all of us went, then we’d get our point across. I hate how I have this feeling inside me that wants to get out, but it can’t. I know how to let it go, but I don’t want to…not yet anyway. But I hate how it stays bottled up inside me. I want to scream, but I can’t. I want to cry, but I can’t.

The moral of the story is…..I need a vacation. Right now. I need a break. I need to go to Disney World. I need to be somewhere where I know I’ll have a good time. I need to have some time with my sister, just her and me…in Disney World…..or at a theme park of some sort. I just need to get away from school, from the high school drama that goes on everyday, from the self pity that is experienced, from the hard classes, from the homework, from everything unpleasant.

I realize I just wrote what I call a “poor me” post…..but I needed to get that out. Thanks for reading. I truly didn’t mean for it to be one of these posts, but it did.

On a happier note, my lyrics for The Nightingale Lullaby are done. Crucible auditions are soon. Tomorrow Nathan and I get to work with Linda on our scene. Hooray!!!!!!!

January 24
As exciting as today was, I really don't have much to say.

While working with Linda, Nathan's and my scene has now totally changed how we present it. It has a lot of varying levels and emotional changes now that Linda has gone through it. I think it is a lot better now...however it was really hard for both of us to keep a straight face while performing. We have yet to run through it without laughing. Though I will have you know that I was NOT the first to laugh during our first performance. Nathan started the laughter and then I followed. Once the laughing factor has gone, I think the scene will be a lot better than what we originally had. Well of course, once anyone has worked with Linda, the scene or monologue usually turns out better.

Well, I need to get to work on English. Good night.

A Little Bit of Poetry

Lights in the cat-walk
Hanging
Circuits
Up they come from below me
Pulling and pulling
Laughter from the cat-walk rings throughout
21, 22; 1, 2; 9, 10; 15, 16; etc.
Remembrance of a brilliant performance
Rope and saftey cords
More laughter


Irritation
Just friends
The End


Talking online
Fun, serious, wacky, mournful, excited conversations
Absence of emotion...what is the true emotion?
Smiley face
Logging on and off
Loss of connection
Irritation
Can't communicate without seeing a face or hearing a voice
g2g


Shut up!
Whisper, whisper, whisper...
Be quiet!
Whisper, whisper, whisper...
Smack
Oh play practice


Foam, glue gun, scissors, and frame
Three figures gluing, placing, cutting, and laughing
Foam in hair from being pelted with it
Almost done
No more foam
Laughter


Sleep
Overrated or crave it
Or both
Sleep
Sleep is good


This ends the poetry. I felt like doing a little poetry today. I don't know why. There are no rhymes. It doesn't follow any guidlines. It is just free verse. But as the last poem says:

Sleep
Sleep is good

So, good night!

Thoughtful Post

I am going to try something new. I am going to stay away from what I did today and instead write a thoughtful post. This is inspired by Nathan, who told me I had to write one of these because I helped with some of his ideas...or something like that...I really don't remember. Anywho, here I go....

I am going to start out with sandwitches. I like sandwitches. There is nothing like a homemade sandwitch. Two slices of bread, meat, cheese, mayo, mustard, lettuce, tomato....what more could a girl want? And despite what Nathan says, I think sandwitches are good even if they are not consumed within 5 minutes of making them. The only time a sandwitch is not utterly delicious is when it has been refridgerated for a few hours. Then it is soggy and not as delightful. In any case, I love sandwitches. I think I should have one everyday (hint hint).

As helpful as homework is, is it really necessary? I find it just bothersome. It is always in my way of having fun or doing something I'd like to do. For instance, one time I had to spend a week off from dance to do homework. No, that was not because I procrastinated. It was because every single one of my teachers decided to give me a million things to do every night. It's like they all planned it or something. Yes I know that homework is supposed to help you understand what you just did in class....but what if you don't? Take me for example....when I was taking Calc 2 (the worst experience of my school year so far) I would be assigned homework that I didn't understand how to do. Therefore, I couldn't ask for help (because no one else understood either) and the teacher wouldn't be too much help the next day when he'd give points for doing the assignment. Well if we didn't understand how to do the assignment, how do you expect us to get it done? And another thing, I know homework is a form of keeping kids out of trouble....but why have those kids who don't get in trouble suffer with homework that keeps us up until the break of dawn? Granted, I haven't had much homework lately, but it'll come back to get me real soon cuz that's the way homework is. He is a very sneaky little guy.

I love Broadway shows. If I could, I would see one every night...no...twice a day....once in the afternoon and once in the evening. There are so many shows on Broadway that I really really want to see. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, Tarzan, The Phantom of the Opera, Spamalot, Rent, Barefoot in the Park...the list goes on and on. I love how even if the shows are not on the actual street called Broadway, it is still just as magical to see one. It amazes me what the difference there is between seeing a Broadway show on Broadway and a traveling Broadway show. I think it is the knowledge that you are in New York City seeing a show versus seeing the show in your hometown. And, with the traveling shows, the origonal cast does not play the characters. But sometimes that's ok. Like when I saw Aida....the girl who played Amneres was the understudy for the girl who took over for the origonal girl. And the understudy was really good. I love Broadway.

I really don't know what else to write about as of right now. And I'm kind of tired trying to think of stuff to write. So I will stop for now. I think I like writing about what I did better....it's a lot easier.

Good night.

All-State Try-Outs

Today was pretty much the longest day ever. I was out of my house and in one place practically all day. It was worse than a dance team competition. We sat around doing nothing for a long time, danced for like 5 minutes, sat around some more, and then found out if we made call backs. The good news is we all did make call backs (me, MJ, Amanda, and Cora). The bad news is that we don't find out who made All-State until March.

I am so sick of the song we danced to. If I hear it one more time I'll scream.

I am not looking foreward to tomorrow...well besides the fact that Linda Needham is coming to play practice and hopefully drama to help us. But tomorrow means school, a long play practice, dance, and being really sore. I just want to stay home.

That's it from this end. Good night.

Apology

Dear Susan and Ermine,
I would like to say that I am sorry for not returning in time to help clean up. You have no idea how bad I felt that the house was already clean by the time I had returned. I had totally planned on helping clean up. There aren't enough words to say how sorry I am. Susan, thank you for playing for me on such short notice. I am truly grateful.

This weekend has been fun...for the most part. On Saturday, I gave my commentary for IB English. It went rather well. I spoke for at least 15 minutes by myself (which is what you are supposed to do) and then ended up going over 20 minutes due to Miss Denny's questions. After that, I came home and taped my audition for a musical theatre program. That went fairly well too. It really was a good thing Mom was not there. If she had been there, things would have gotten a lot worse than they did later on in the evening. We got done taping before Mom got home, but then Mom ended up not being too happy with what we had so we got into a little tension. It was mainly because one of the songs I sang wasn't as anrgy as I had done it before so she wanted me to do it again. That was a problem because Susan Todd played for me and she was at her house getting ready for a surprise party. So Mom was in a bad mood and I was in a bad mood. However, my bad mood changed soon after because I went to Ryan's surpise party.

The party was fun. I really enjoy hanging out with those people. We attempted to watch Serenity, played DDR, and played Halo 2. Nathan and I were on a team because one of his arms was immobile and i was sitting right there. So we almost won one time. And we actually made a pretty good team, though Ermine beat the crap out of all of us because he's just so freaking good at that game. It was good times.

Then I went to say goodbye to Jennifer. That was sad, but very fun too. I love Jennifer. She's so cool. I wish that she didn't have to leave. However, I'm going to try and visit her while she's in NY. I really hope that works out.

Today I had All-State Dance Team try-outs. Well, that's a lie. Today was the "learning session". We just learned the dance. That was it. For 3 hours we learned the dance. All I can say about it is BT (bus talk).

I hate feeling really bad about something you couldn't really help. It just makes me feel horrible inside. I wish the feeling would go away.

Well, tomorrow means a long day at all-state dance team try-outs. We arrive at no later than 12:40 and dance at 2:00. At 3:30 we find out if we made the call backs. If we didn't, then we book it back to dance team practice. If we did, then we stay until 6:00, where we audition again. Even if just one of us makes it to call backs, we all stay because we're carpooling up there. So it's either going to be a really long day or a really, really long day.

That is all. Good night.

Good News!

I am better. I am still tired, but I at least feel better.

I really don't have much to say. I just wanted to read something else besides a post saying I am sick again. Oh by the way, I had strep throat, so that's why my throat was sore. But as I said, I am better now.

I hate finding monologues. I am currently looking for a dramaitc monologue that'll allow me to have a lot of emotion...basically let go of myself. I have found dramatic ones I liked, but Sil said that I could do better ones than the ones I have found so far. So I am on a search still. Which reminds me, I need to memorize my comedic one ASAP. And my music for voice lessons too. Hmmm...I should work on that.

Well....that's about it. I really don't have much to say.

Act 2 memorized. One word: AHHHHHH!!!!! OK it's not really that bad. But Act 2 is definitely weaker than Act 1 for my memorization. But oh well.

Now I believe a good night is in order.

Good night.

Sick Again?

I think I might be sick....again. My throat hurts and I don't feel well. I just woke up from about a 5 hour nap. Yes it felt good, but now I am not tired. Ok, I am a little tired, but not enough to go back to sleep. Why must I get sick now? Well, I guess it's better than in February. If I get sick in February, I'm screwed.

I talked to Ashley today. That was really exciting. I love that girl!

Today was a grueling dance team practice. Don't get me wrong, I liked dance team. It's just that it was early and long and tiring. However, we made it to 3 minutes! So now, when we go to Tigard competition, we just have to get a certain amount of points to make sure we go to the second round of State. As Heather has told us, this shouldn't be a problem cuz we usually get that amount of points easily.

Mom and Brooke went shopping while I sllept. They still aren't home yet. I could have gone, but I'm kind of glad I didn't. I don't think I would have been in the mood.

Well, I think I am going to go watch a little Barefoot in the Park so that I can get some ideas as to how to be more hysterical. And I like the show anyway.

I hope I feel better in the morning.

Barefoot Yet Again

Today I watched Barefoot in the Park...the stage version. I liked it a lot better than the movie version. The movie version seemed to be underacted, while the stage version was really, really funny. The scene Nathan and I are doing was highly entertaining to watch. However, something I did not like was how Corie seemed to be angry throughout the first part of the scene. In my mind, she would be more like, "Just relax. Everything went well" rather than "What's your problem?!" It was also interesting how Paul seemed almost out of control scary at one point. I did like how Corie did her "Don't touch me" and "I am not hysterical". Those made me laugh. Overall, I enjoyed the stage version a lot. I think I'll watch it again and have my family watch it with me.

Today in drama, Nathan and I did our scene for the class for the first time in like a month.....ok maybe 3 weeks. Still, we hadn't done it in front of an audience in a long time. So it was nice to get critiques and get laughs and whatnot. As David and Ryan stated...it is too bad that me being barefoot would probably count as a cosume, cuz it was fun walking around with no shoes on (this morning I walked into a puddle so my shoes and socks were wet...I blame Nathan!).

Play practice went ok. We ended earlier than we thought we would; however, we didn't get through everything we wanted. But oh well. The world keeps spinning and we move on. I don't have to choreograph The Minstrel, the Jester, and I anymore. Thank you Sil for taking it over.

Tomorrow I have a really early and really long dance team practice. 8-12. I can't...umm...wait? Yeah. I kind of would rather go to tap. Sound crazy? I know. But I haven't been to tap in at least a month, if not 2. And I woudl like to sleep a little bit more than I get to by going to dance team. But oh well. I am going to dance team and we are going to learna lot for State. I'm going to be really tired and sweaty, but I'll have a good workout.

Good night all.

Sore

That is what I am. Why is it that after you have had a long break....or somewhat long break...your dance teachers decide to totally kill you and make the class really hard? I mean, Monday was hard enough with dance team. But Tuesday...Tuesday was a killer. I was already sore from dance team. And on top of that soreness, we did a lot of hard stuff that involved kicking, grabbing my legs, and other stretchy things. I could barely walk this morning. My arms hurt, my legs hurt, my stomache hurts, everything hurts. Today in ballet, I couldn't even lift my leg to 90 degrees. I know that doesn't mean a lot to pretty much any of you, but it was really depressing for me. Before break, I had a nice above 90 degree arabesque. Now, it's not even 90 degrees. I know it'll get back up there, but it was really frusterating. I was groaning all day. Everytime I had to lift my backpack I was in pain. I am pathetic.

I found two monologues to do. Hooray! Now I just need to get them memorized. And soon. It's not that I have auditions soon. It's that if I want help that'll be really good, it'll help to have the monologues memorized.

I hate commentaries. I can't communicate my thoughts and ideas. And i don't go in depth enough because most of the time I don't understand enough to do so until someone says something indepth like and then maybe a spark will ignite and I will be able to talk deeply. Oh dear....I just was being negative towards myself. Hmmm......I was able to talk for the whole 12 minutes today. Granted some of it was breathing deeply to calm myself down and slow my speech, but other than that, I did pretty well for me.

Well, I am going to get some shut eye soon. I now must get up earlier than usual because I am taking an extra person to school at the crack of dawn for zero period. But that's ok. This will force me to go to bed earlier. So good night all.

A Breath of Fresh Air

Something just happened to me that I had been hoping would happen. One of my really good friends, who I haven't seen or heard from in about 5 years, just requested to be one of my myspace friends. Now I am not a regular user of myspace, but let me say a huge thank you to Courtney who had a post that I wanted to comment on. If she had not posted and I had not wanted to comment, Ashley would still probably be a mystery. My friend, Ashley, moved away to Arizona about 5 years ago. I talked to her for a little bit after the move, but soon her number was disconnected and her address was invalid. She left without a trace. My dance teachers asked me if I knew what had happened to her. I didn't know. So for 5 years, we all thought she had dropped off the face of the planet. But no longer. She has reappeared. Now I can keep in touch with her. I'll know what is going on in her life and so on. Oh, this is the happiest I have felt in a while. I was literally bouncing off the walls. Now my teachers will have a way to know what is going on as well. Oh Ashley, you have made me very, very happy.

In other news, there was a line memorizing party at my house this morning. It lasted about an hour, much shorter than planned. So we went to Red Robins after the script had been read. Then a few of us went to Kirsten's before dance team. It was fun...the stuff before dance team was anyway.

Dance team was refreshing, but exhausting. We ran through State like a billion times. I think I might die by the end of it. I think we all will.

One other set of news...my New Year's resolutions. Well, I am shooting for all A's. It's going to be a stretch, but it isn't impossible. I think I can extened this resolution to, at most, 2 B's. I know, grades aren't everything. But I used to be 12th in my class. From the last grades I recieved, I am now 33rd. Quite a jump....and I am almost out of the top 10%...something that scholarships look for. If you are in the top 10%, you can get certain scholarships that others can't. Anyway, another resolution is a joint one. Anothe rperson and I are planning to keep a positive attitude towards ourselves. This means that we will not put ourselves down in any way, shape, or form. I have found myself saying that I can't do things because I am bad at them, but I usually don't even try first. This event usually happens in Physics or English. So, I have decided to not say, "I can't do it." I will keep a positive attitude about myself.

And in the words of the wonderful Michelle Burnett, "That is all."